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The Reel Life: Spread lightly edition

6 Feb 2014

In a shocking development out of the U.K., the breakfast staple of toast and butter has now been turned into an assault weapon.

Spread lightly, folks.

That's right; Julie Evans has been accused of assaulting her husband, James, with toast and butter. Here's how it all went down, according to Mirror Online: Julie was mad at James for falling asleep on the sofa when he was supposed to be doing chores. The next morning, the fight continued at breakfast, when Julie threw her toast at James. Next, she grabbed a handful of butter and smeared it on his face. James, allegedly, suffered a torn ear which needed 13 stitches.

Oh, and did we mention that James has multiple sclerosis, according to the report?

Perhaps this is why gluten has received such a bad rap lately; it's just too dangerous to eat bread these days. Of course, the Reel Life shakes our heads at such nonsense. We know that if you are going to assault someone at the breakfast table, you should always use a grapefruit. Get one squirt of that juice in your eye and you are down for the count.

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