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The Reel Life: Scratch 'n' sniff edition

23 May 2018

It's no secret that the humble postal services in many countries have been having some issues with revenues ever since e-mail became a thing. The decline in the sending of regular letters and bills and stuff has only been partly offset by the rise of everyone doing their shopping online instead of at the mall like we used to.

In the U.S., where the USPS has been additionally burdened with some unorthodox funding and pension stuff that we're not going to get into right now, numerous proposals have been floated to rescue the beleaguered service. Some, such as the return of postal banking, would be big policy lifts that would involve writing new legislation and passing it through Congress and all that sort of thing, which even if it succeeds will proceed at the glacially slow pace of government.

In the meantime, the United States Postal Service isn't waiting around for Congress to rescue it, and is coming up with its own ideas to boost sales. Frequently, this involves issuing new stamps in a desperate bid to make American residents excited enough about stamps to go to the effort of writing their grandmothers a letter. This has not worked all that great, not even with the forever stamps, and personally we think the USPS needs to build stronger partnerships with the purveyors of extremely cute $4 greeting cards if they really want to move more mail, but nobody asked us.

Anyway, the newest gimmick out of the USPS, we will admit, actually does make us want to go out and write thank-you notes to everyone we've ever met. (For what, we're not sure. Clearly more people should buy us presents.) Starting 20 June, the Postal Service will be selling scratch-and-sniff forever stamps in fruity, summery scents like kiwi, orange and strawberry. This debut batch of scented stamps bears colorful illustrations of popsicles, painted by California artist Margaret Berg. They're pretty freakin' cute.

We'd like to make a deal with the post office, though: We will buy a lot of popsicle stamps and write our grandmother a letter on the condition that this scratch-n-sniff idea not be extended to any of the stamps with important historical figures on them. For lots of history, people wore too much perfume and didn't take enough baths, and nobody needs to be reminded of that.

Get in the fast lane, Grandma, this bingo game is ready to roll!

Monday is Memorial Day in the United States, a day when Americans honor the brave men and women who have died fighting for their country. On top of all the picnics and fireworks, Intertops Poker and Juicy Stakes will be launching a new game and hosting a special Memorial Day Slots Raffle.

“We owe a lot to the soldiers that have fought to protect us,” said Intertops’ poker manager. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun on Memorial Day!”

New Ogre Empire slot from Betsoft
The new Ogre Empire slot also makes its debut on Monday. In the new game, a Shrek-like ogre occupies the kingdom day and night. During the day, the townsfolk hide, leaving the town and the reels to the whim of his terrible temper. Each fit he throws can cause the reels to award additional prizes. At night, when the Ogre falls asleep, the townsfolk slip out of hiding and onto the reels.

The magical Day Bloom Wild, a wild flower that blooms only during the day, spreads to up to three other adjacent symbols. At night, the mystical Night Bloom Wild shoots its glowing spores on up to three other symbols anywhere on the reels, turning them wild as well! The Joker also comes out to play at night and when he appears in a winning combination he doubles the payout.

All players that have made a deposit in the last 30 days can take 10 free spins on the new game and win up to $250. (Available until 2 June. 30X roll over on Betsoft games required for withdrawal of free spin winnings.)

Memorial Day Slots Raffle
On Monday, players will automatically earn raffle tickets when they play designated games. A Night in Paris, Fire & Steel and The True Sheriff, all listed under the Betsoft tab within the poker software, were chosen because they all highlight protect-and-serve roles covering various eras in history. Players get one free raffle ticket for every 10 spins with a wager of $.60 or more. Five randomly drawn winners will receive $1,000 in prizes. Raffle prizes must be rolled over at least once on Betsoft games.
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