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The Reel Life: Buttery and ashamed edition

31 May 2018

A squirrel that got stuck in a dumpster in Quincy, Massachusetts, has been freed — but not before getting itself into a sticky — or rather, greasy — situation.

The squirrel, an adult female Eastern gray, got herself stuck in a one-and-a-half-inch opening when trying to escape the dumpster, and was spotted by several bystanders. Before calling animal control (which is what you should do immediately if you're ever trying to rescue a squirrel, because they're mean, at least in New England), the well-intentioned humans tried to lubricate the squirrel to free her from her trap, by covering her first in vegetable oil and then in butter.

When animal control arrived, it was able to free the humiliated rodent, which a spokesman described as "buttery and ashamed."

The squirrel has been taken into custody at the New England Wildlife Center, where she has been cleaned off. She will be monitored over the weekend and released early next week, at which point she will presumably begin plotting an elaborate mission of revenge on the humans who heaped such indignities upon her when she was defenseless.

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