Poker Player Tweets of the Week: Lame comparisons edition

Wow, it's been a while since I've written a Poker Player Tweets of the Week column! My last piece came on Dec. 13, or a whopping six weeks ago. Where have I been? Or a better question: Does anyone care? I'll preserve the multitude of excuses I could make for not having written one of these since before Christmas and just come up with one, all-encompassing reason. I've been busy. Well, sort of. First, I went on vacation to the tropical paradise that is the American Midwest in December. That was followed up with a series of snow storms here in Boston, which kept me knee-deep (literally) in snow shoveling. And January is also a bustling time here at Casino City. But forget my lame excuses; I'm back and ready to entertain! Well, actually, it's not me who's doing the entertaining. Poker players have been up to their usual shenanigans and firing up the Twittersphere with their amusing repartee. I'm just here to curate it. Thursday, Jan. 23: Haralabos "@haralabob" Voulgaris

If I was a great man like Frank Lloyd Wright or Jackie Robinson and my estate pimped me out to sell Mazdas I’d be rolling over in my grave.

— Haralabos Voulgaris (@haralabob) January 24, 2014

I thought this exact same thing the first time I ever saw that horrible Mazda commercial (embedded below). Is a car company seriously comparing itself to Jackie Robinson, who singlehandedly improved race relations in the U.S. more than possibly anyone else, ever? It's one thing to pay homage to people who have "challenged conventional thinking," as Mazda does in its ad with Robinson, Frank Lloyd Wright and Bruce Lee. But to say, "This kind of creativity, conviction and courage is the Mazda way," is downright offensive. Producing a car with decent gas mileage is not the same thing as breaking baseball's color barrier. Thursday, Jan. 23: Alex "@LegitAP47" Phahurat

pic.twitter.com/qLVrFiO1bK

— Alex Phahurat (@LegitAP47) January 23, 2014

Hey now, Miley Cyrus does not deserve that kind of brutal comparison. #TeamMiley Wednesday, Jan. 22: Matt "@msalsberg" Salsberg

Rewatched one of the best comedies of all time last night. The 2006 main event final table. Masterful on many levels. #GodBlessYouTube

— matt salsberg (@msalsberg) January 22, 2014

What a ridiculous shove-fest that 2006 final table was. Jamie Gold, the eventual champion, knocked out seven of the eight other players at the table. That is insane! Gold isn't the worst player ever to win the Main Event, but he's up there. He just happened to catch, in terms of profit, the best run of cards anyone has ever seen. Here's the comedic finale: Wednesday, Jan. 22: Kristy "@KristyArnett" Arnett

I like to people watch. Quick way to getting put in the friend zone --- excessive high-fiving. #friendzonesodeep

— Kristy Arnett (@KristyArnett) January 22, 2014

Unless you're David Puddy. Then you get put in the un-friend zone. Tuesday, Jan. 21: Daniel "@RealKidPoker" Negreanu

My word for 2014 is CONNECTION. Deeper, more meaningful relationships with people. If you had to pick a word, what would it be and why?

— Daniel Negreanu (@RealKidPoker) January 21, 2014

My word is SMDH, as in I am "shaking my damn head" at this tweet.